he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
