I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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