Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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