For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
