names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
