every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
