I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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