I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You've changed since you got that strap on
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize