it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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