Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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