Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I need water and some morals
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
