i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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