Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
