So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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