omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
