What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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