Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
