U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
