ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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