Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize