I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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