i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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