when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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