A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just high enough for therapy.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize