do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
