that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
