What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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