I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
