If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
