Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
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Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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