i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
