just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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