i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
