i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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