I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
youre lurking in front of me
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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