Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
