worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
