I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
