I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
it hurts more in the daytime
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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