i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
