Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
