I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
