I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
