FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
