They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
