you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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