i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
