You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
