Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
