ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
