"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
her vagine was all disorganized.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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