Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
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I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
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I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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