By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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