why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
When are your genitals available?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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