When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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