my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
