last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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