You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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