Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i think my mom watched the whole time
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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