i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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