Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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