My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
