When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
