is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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