why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
