I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize