Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
