sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
