She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
