I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
